I’ll be moving on, letting Samat and Tatyana take back the land. Unfamiliar as it might be to them, I envision them stalking through the unharvested fields of corn, catching gophers and stray cats once the meat is gone. Survival of the fittest and the immune. Like the storytellers of old, I’ll be a nomad. Transient. A traveler offering tales in exchange for his supper. Words to stoke the fires of hope. I’ve used this cold machine too much. There is no more life in it. Or the zoo’s generator.

I will find the remnants of humanity, and we will feed one another. We will survive this trial as a grateful people. We will survive to tell our stories to future generations. And so will Samat and Tatyana tell their children. We will come back from extinction in tandem.

I saw Samat today, his dark, intelligent eyes holding mine. A beautiful animal. He has as many plans as I do.

Written by Jeffrey Holmes, MFA – December 3, 2024

My lovely wife, Rose, has passed away. She had a vision of peace for this zoo, for these animals. But it wasn’t to be. Sickness and death has overtaken us all, and her mind had turned against the ones she vowed to protect. To watch over. To feed.

Free now, the animals made their choices and chose to feed themselves. To quiet her screams after so many night hours and to refute her pseudo-authority over that which cannot be tamed. I’ve open up the freezers. All the cages. They’ll hunt for themselves now.

Written by Jeffrey Holmes, MFA – December 2, 2024

I shouldn’t have listened to him, Dr. Hanson-Holmes. I know he wasn’t really a zoo employee, but I thought you trusted him too? I wanted to help the animals. You always told me how perceptive they can be, and his stories made so much sense. He didn’t tell me how he was going to stop you. I didn’t know it would turn out like this. I don’t think he thought it would take so long either, but the leopards were weak and went so long without enrichment. I don’t know. I didn’t know. Even Jeff was shocked, but he watched the whole time. I couldn’t.

I’m leaving tomorrow. For real this time. Jeff says I should get out before the Samat and Tatyana claim the whole area. He said he would take care of everything else. He has your gun now, but of course he’d never use it on the animals. I tried to take it while you were still alive, but I couldn’t have shot you anyway, even to end it. I’m leaving. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. I’ll tell your mom. If you see this Mrs. Hanson, I’m on my way. I’ll explain as much as I can.

I’m sorry,

Matty

Written by Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern – December 2, 2024

Samat has watched Tatyana from across the dirty, human pathway. Through the dirty human laughs and cheers for their growls, infantilizing their threats. Tatyana has watched Samat watch her. Accepted his gifts of food and company. She has growled just as loud at the hairless, slow monkeys. She sees in him, a mirror. He sees in her, a chance. They prowl and pace and purr deep in their throats. They have not been fed. They have not been fed. They have not been fed.

They will not be shot in cages like animals.

Written by Jeffrey Holmes, MFA – December 1, 2024

Please be advised that an ostrich is now outside of the zoo’s walls. Please do not approach or try to hunt. They can be highly aggressive and will be attracted to plant-based food as well as the smell of cooking meat.

Written by Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director – November 30, 2024

If Tatyana couldn’t have the beef shank meant for her, at least Shredder got to eat. I’m sorry about the broken windows and the door.

Respectfully, Matthew Robins

Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern 11/30/24

I thought you were leaving.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 11/30/24

Rose, the YMCA here has set up Internet for us. How are you?

Lily Hanson 12/01/24

Mom? You’re alive? Where are you? Which YMCA?

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 12/01/24

Oh, just the YMCA in town. The nice young secretary taught me how to use Skype! Very respectful. He knew what he was talking about. There are only a few of us here, so I can use the computer whenever I want. Well, whenever they turn on the generator, every couple of days or so. I tried to call you!

Lily Hanson 12/01/24

Okay, call me on Skype @RoseHanson22 as soon as you can. The phones have been down since near the beginning. I’ll be heading your way soon. I have to take care of something first.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 12/01/24

Vicky, I’m leaving. If you ever see this, I’m going back to where we first met. I’ll be able to hole up there for the winter.

Written by Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern – November 30, 2024

Fuck you, Matty.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 11/30/24

I’m sorry, Dr. Hanson-Holmes. I was doing what was best for me and the animals. For Shredder! Jeff said you would understand, but I understand if you don’t understand.

Respectfully, Matthew Robins

Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern 11/30/24

Matthew, I understand that Shredder broke into the house in search of food and found some. The windows are broken, and I can no longer lock the front door.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 11/30/24

Give the kid a break. He’s leaving tomorrow morning.

Jeffrey Holmes, MFA 11/30/24

Why not now? Why don’t you both just “return to nature?!”

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 11/30/24

We are caretakers.

Jeffrey Holmes, MFA 11/30/24

The gibbons have watched us. They learn from our example and groom their small, fur-lined faces. A majestic mane for each small man, each small furry child. They play the-ground-is-lava to adulthood, swinging over the risks of the forest floor. But the games are just for show. They play it in order to keep patrol over their ‘exhibit,’ as our species call it. They keep track of our movements. They flit from tree to tree in order to make eye contact with every human that tried to reduce them to entertainment.

They tried to escape before the plague descended.

Written by Jeffrey Holmes, MFA – November 19, 2024

Just come back to the house, Jeff. We can get through this.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 11/19/24

My wife is a murderer.

Written by Jeffrey Holmes, MFA – October 20, 2024

It was one meerkat. We don’t have enough food left for both us and the animals.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 10/20/24

Tessa will be mourned.

Jeffrey Holmes, MFA 10/20/24

Dr. Hanson-Holmes, just think about how much Tessa must have trusted us before you took her life. How could she have seen this coming? How could you betray her?

Respectfully, Matthew Robins

Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern 10/20/24

It was quick and humane. Now we can dry meat instead of waiting for the freezers to die.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 10/20/24

Also, she’s a meerkat. She has no concept of betrayal.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 10/20/24

I do, though.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 10/20/24

There’s some leftover. You are both welcome back to the cabin. Otherwise, it’ll go to waste.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 10/21/24

How dare you.

Jeffrey Holmes, MFA 10/21/24

Please be advised that a herd of five zebras are now outside of the zoo’s walls. Please do not attempt to ride the zebras.

Written by Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director – October 13, 2024

Please be advised that two large pythons are now outside of the zoo’s walls.

Written by Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director – October 9, 2024

Again, if anyone sees this, please comment below. Matty, Jeff, and I are willing to share the wealth of food we have available.

Written by Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director – September 30, 2024

It’s not ours to share.

Jeffrey Holmes, MFA 09/30/24

This is not the only infection to strike animals close to our hearts. We used to have three Reticulated giraffes (Giraffa camelopardalis) at Ahanu. A trade was made about a year before my lovely wife, Rose, took over the director’s position. A pack of penguins, six in all, were traded for a young, female reticulated giraffe in hopes of baby giraffes and renewed visitor numbers. The penguins went to Texas. Texas sent us a giraffe, Mimi.

Ahanu had a shorter quarantine protocol for new animals back then. We didn’t even know Mimi had a de-worming resistant parasite – Haemonchus contortus – until she died. Rose was director by then, and she suggested that I report the story on the website, one of my first posts here. So, I was there when the veterinary students at U of I opened her up, cutting through the thin skin of her belly.

Mimi’s neck was too long for the necropsy table, but someone had lifted her horse-like head onto a stool, up off the tiled floor. Her patterned neck was a low rope bridge leading up to her once strong shoulders. No one had closed her eyelids over her big, brown eyes, but she was gone inside. They found the long, white parasites crawling in her intestines.

Twiga and Kenya, our other giraffes, were infected as well. But alas, we could not de-worm a de-worming resistant parasite. When they join Mimi in death, we will dig up their home, an empty grave at least 10 feet down, and rebuild it anew for a new generation. That was the plan. Before.

Now, Twiga and Kenya huddle in their enclosure against the autumn chill. They knew this was coming. But how were we mere humans to know the difference between the restlessness of caged animals and the restlessness of prophets?

Written by Jeffrey Holmes, MFA – September 28, 2024

Jeff, please come back to the house.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 09/28/24

At least let Matty come back.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 09/28/24

I won’t let him starve in there with you.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 09/28/24

It’s okay, Dr. Hanson-Holmes. I want to be here, closer to the animals. We have food from the other deep freeze. Jeff has been telling me stories to pass the time.

Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern 09/29/24

I’ll keep him just as safe as you would. And the animals too. Whatever you might think, or think you know, I can handle it. Matthew and I will be just fine.

Jeffrey Holmes, MFA 09/29/24

By the way, he doesn’t like it when you call him Matty. It’s not his name. He’s a young man. Not a child.

Jeffrey Holmes, MFA 09/29/24

Like you know anything about children.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 09/29/24

If you are seeing this, if you have a generator and access to internet like us, please contact me. We can help each other. Our cars have been stolen. I have access to a golf cart with half a tank of gas if you are nearby. We have been sharing our remaining animal’s food supply. It’s been in the deep freezer and is untouched by infection. It’s not fresh meat, but it’s viable.

Written by Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director – September 4, 2024

Please contact us if you’re out there. We’ll be checking this site about once a month to save the limited electricity we have.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 09/04/24

Mom, Dad, Vicky, I’m safe. I’m not at my apartment anymore after the looting. Dr. Hanson-Holmes and Jeff have agreed to let me stay with them until this blows over. We have enough clean food to eat for now.

Written by Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern – September 1, 2024

My husband and I are located in the cabin just outside the zoo’s eastern fence if anyone is in need of food.

Written by Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director – August 31, 2024

We are still alive.

Written by Jeffrey Holmes, MFA – August 11, 2024

Do not approach the gates of Ahanu Zoo. All visitors (including family members of staff) must contact Director Hanson-Holmes in advance. A hazmat suit will be provided for you.

Written by Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern – July 4, 2024

Is everything okay? Are you safe?

Patricia Robins 07/04/24

Hi Mrs. Robins. Don’t worry, this is just a precaution.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 07/05/24

How will Ahanu be able to bounce back from this?

Katie Court, Fairless Times 07/05/24

Seems like an awfully cautious precaution.

Katie Court, Fairless Times 07/05/24

Care to comment, Director Hanson-Holmes?

Katie Court, Fairless Times 07/05/24

Are you receiving my emails?

Katie Court, Fairless Times 07/05/24

Yes.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 07/09/25

Several people have expressed concerned for our more exotic animals. Rest assured, they are healthy. They don’t typically come in direct contact with one another or humans. Our staff is working around the clock to ensure their safety while this infection runs its course.

Written by Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director – June 19, 2024

COMMENTS ARE TURNED OFF FOR THIS POST

Marissa the cow was given to us by a local farmer last Christmas after our old girl, Beatrice, passed away. Marissa and Beatrice are remembered by their friends, Joey the goat and Henrietta the hen. We mourn their losses like we mourn our own.

Written by Jeffrey Holmes, MFA – June 18, 2024

COMMENTS ARE TURNED OFF FOR THIS POST

If you have come in contact with an animal from the Ahanu Petting Zoo in the last 14 days, please see a doctor immediately. Spongiform proteopathy spreads quickly, and we now know it can also transfer between humans and mammals beyond domestic pets such as cats and dogs. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize for not taking proper precautions when this infection first appeared. Through this struggle, I hope Ahanu and Fairless Hills as a whole can recover and come back stronger than ever.

Written by Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director – June 18, 2024

COMMENTS ARE TURNED OFF FOR THIS POST

Ahanu Zoo has been closed until further notice.

Written by Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern – June 18, 2024

COMMENTS ARE TURNED OFF FOR THIS POST

06/18/24

We’ve got snakes!

Don’t worry though. They’re not scary, just misunderstood! Most of them just want to lie around all day and stay up all night instead! Brendon, our Bredl’s Python (Morelia bredli) is from Australia and enjoys hunting birds, rabbits, and even domestic cats! Phillip, our Northern Pine Snake (Pituophis melanoleucas) is from right here in the United States. His favorite food is eggs. He likes to eat them whole! This snake can even climb up trees! Our Reticulated Python (Malayopython reticulatus) is named Rebecca, and she’s from Southeast Asia! She’s our biggest reptile at the zoo by far and loves swim. She can’t see very well but uses smell (through her tongue!) to sense her surroundings, slithering through the grass of her enclosure, flicking her tongue out to taste the air, to begin to hunt. To be a snake is not to be nefarious as your ecclesiastical sources would tell you, but to be forward-thinking. Bending one’s body – not to conform – but to stretch beyond the limits of previous days, of previous lives. Rebecca’s belly glides through the dirt and the muck that stands in her way. She opens her maw like the gates of hell that we have banished her to; she rises up to consume the lowest urchins of the Earth; she gently nips at the ankles of her keepers, playing with the ready hands that feed her; she commands her visitors with her swaying form, and they should listen closer.

Written by Jeffrey Holmes, MFA – June 15, 2024

Did Ahanu’s animals always have names?

Quinn Johnson 06/15/24

How is Ahanu addressing the recent outbreaks?

Katie Court, Fairless Times 06/15/24

How will your animals remain safe? Could they be already infected?

Katie Court, Fairless Times 06/15/24

My son and I liked the other stories better. This is inappropriate for children.

Delia Manson 06/16/24

😂

Brian Vincent 06/17/24

How do you do the smiley faces? Thanks in advance!

Delia Manson 06/17/24

Regarding the recent outbreaks in the area, I implore Ahanu visitors to remain calm. The so-called infection is still being studied. It has not yet been named. Remember to follow the local warnings about hand-washing and keeping children away from domestic animals, such as cats and dogs. Here at Ahanu, our animals come from zoological institutions all over the world, but they do not come in direct contact with humans. The infection has only been known to pass from animals to humans. Our employees do not handle most of our animals by hand. And, thanks to annual vaccinations and checkups for our employees, our staff remains healthy.

Written by Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director – June 7, 2024

The government wants us to believe it’s animals, but this disease has actually been in our food this WHOLE TIME.

undergroundddddd 06/07/24

Are ya’ll still open on Saturday? My kid has his birthday.

Mason Durn 06/07/24

Yes, we are open Saturday for our regular hours.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 06/07/24

What about the petting zoo?

Cindy Thompson 06/07/24

Yes, the petting zoo will also be open during our regular hours.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 06/07/24

Rose, can you call me back?

Lily Hanson 06/08/24

Just as soon as I have time.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 06/11/24

Remember to fill out the AHANU ZOO SURVEY for a chance at an annual pass for you and a loved one! Surveys are available to the entrance gate from June 1st to June 31st!

Written by Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern – June 3, 2024

I bought an annual pass last year why isn’t it working

Billy Potter 06/03/24

Do you recall when it was purchased?

Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern 06/03/24

Last year

Billy Potter 06/03/24

Do you happen to know in what month? Annual passes last for 12 months. The purchase date should be in the upper righthand corner.

Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern 06/03/24

It says june

Billy Potter 06/03/24

If the pass was purchased in June 2023, then it would last through May 2024. Let me know if you have any more questions!

Matthew Robins, Summer 2024 Intern 06/03/24

Can I get a refund then

Billy Potter 06/04/24

No.

Dr. Rose Hanson-Holmes, Director 06/04/24

Our zoo contains two kinds of leopards! Samat is a Snow leopard (Uncia uncia) which means he comes from Central Asia. Snow leopards are considered endangered and like to keep to themselves, except during breeding season! When it comes to food, these big cats will eat anything they come across in the vast, snowy lands where they live! Snow leopards will often mark their territory by clawing at trees or even urinating! Watch out when you pass Samat’s enclosure or he may urinate on you too!

Tatyana is an Amur leopard (Panthera pardus orientalis) which means she comes from Far South and East Russia. Tatyana and her kin are critically endangered! Very few still live in Russia, which is why Ahanu is so lucky to have Tatyana here in Fairless Hills, Iowa! Amur leopards like to hunt at night, especially deer and boar, which is a kind of pig! Tatyana likes bacon just like you!

Samat and Tatyana live just next door to each other and can often be seen stalking the fences and making noises at one another! They coordinated an attack on a mouse once. Taunted it, herded it between one another’s cages until Tatyana reached a claw out and snatched it. A little mid-day snack.

Lately, they have been pacing more than usual. Restless. Don’t let this dissuade you from visiting though! They’re always happy to see us!

Written by Jeffrey Holmes, MFA – June 1, 2024

My son loves these little stories! We’re going to see Samat this weekend!

Delia Manson 06/01/24

Keep up the good work, Jeff!

Tamara Lyons 06/01/24

Wow. Can’t believe you finally got published. Real sophisticated stuff.

Brian Vincent 06/03/24
COMMENT DELETED BY ADMINISTRATOR ROSE